Before going further, please watch the video below. The group is Mastodon, the song is “Divinations.”
Now, here is why that is the most metal video of all time.
- It contains the bare bones of a narrative involving climbing dangerous snowy mountains and discovering the remnants of an ancient blood-sacrifice culture. And what is more metal than blood sacrifice? Not much.
- Once atop the mountain, the band discovers the frozen body of a caveman, who they reanimate using a Gibson Flying-V guitar. Seriously. Lightening bolts shooting from a guitar and bringing to life a 10,000-year-old caveman? Very fucking metal.
- And what is the first thing the unfrozen caveman does once he is awakened? He launches into a fucking shredder guitar solo. Seriously. If I was frozen for 10,000 years, the first thing I would want to do upon awakening is kick some metal ass.
- After shredding for a few, the now unfrozen caveman uses said guitar to slaughter, then CANNIBALIZE, the band members. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, is more metal than cannibalization.
- Is that a banjo at the beginning of the song? Who cares?! Even more metal!
- Three words: Abominable fucking snowman.
I don’t know about you people, but I’m buying some Mastodon CDs the first chance I get. And, using a Flying-V to vanquish whatever foes I might have. Before I GNAW ON THEIR FEMURS!!!
Ahem.
JCA | 13-Jun-09 at 2:28 pm | Permalink
Oddly, I’ve become good friends with their drummer, Brann and his wife Susanne. Coolest guy imaginable. He cooks dinner for all his friends every Sunday when in town. Then we watch “Rock of Love” and a documentary.
It’s a little bizarre to befriend someone in one of your favorite bands, though it’s a real treat when he shares details like, “Oh, yeah, in the new video, you know, there’s an abominable snow creature who kills and eats Brent, who was thawed from ice.”
Get “Crack the Skye.” It rules.